i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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