Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
