And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I need a beard to bite.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
