Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
well you can't waste a boner
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
