I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
