C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize