if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you didnt know i had herpes?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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