Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
