Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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