Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
