I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
