My nipple is on Facebook.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The beer is more important than you right now.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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