Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
