i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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