your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Bring me that man meat
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
