I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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