It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
