So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
