their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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