I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
