what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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