i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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