she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
