Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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