Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
And then he peed in my hair
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