i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize