like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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