I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
