omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
