his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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