I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
