Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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