Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
