Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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