whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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