If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize