I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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