My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
