Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
