Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
