I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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