why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize