It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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