mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
