new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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