Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
two words: eviction party
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
