Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
