i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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