I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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