we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
