Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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