It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
