My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
