I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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