I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
