The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
