Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
