your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
