the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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